Big Changes at Nice Hedge Fund

Last week I slipped and told the girls in HR that I'm quitting Nice Hedge Fund for grad school.

It was after Take Your Brats to Work Day, and I had spent the better portion of my day ushering the kids from each different educational-yet-fun activity. Here's a JackieOh secret: I love kids. I feel like so many New York City Type A's echo the same sentiment about children, and it usually follows the vein of "I hate other people's kids, but when I have my own they will totally kick ass!" Not me. I see babies and I think, "I want one!" (someday) but this is not an easy thing for a cold-hearted bitch like myself to admit. I can't help it. Kids are usually cute and occasionally funny. They hold your hand; they notice when you change your hairstyle. And when they open their mouth you get a very clear image of how their parents raise them. This of course proved to be the best part about Take Your Brats to Work Day.

Example conversation:

Granddaughter of Mr. Nice Hedge Fund: I don’t like pizza!
Me: You don’t like pizza? What’s your favorite food then?
Granddaughter: Escargot!

Not even kidding. From the mouth of billionaire babes.

So afterwards, the HR Department wanted to thank all the helpers with Nice Hedge Fund embroidered office stuff. They handed me a backpack.

I am three months away from moving out of New York City and four years into living as a packrat in the same small Midtown apartment. I'm squarely situated in Phase One of Moving Mayhem: Panic About How Much Crap I Own. I couldn't bring home another backpack. I told them I was moving, and then blurted out the whole story before I could stop myself.

As fate would turn out (only in my silly little life), my confession got their gears cranking. They need a new HR assistant, and in the wake of several high-ranking office members leaving Nice Hedge Fund, co-worker D needs a new boss. So she is going to take over for my four guys (Easier, Easiest, JDate and The New One) and I’ll move downstairs to HR for the rest of my time here. I'm pretty happy about it - I've always enjoyed roles where I have my finger on the pulse of the action. D seems happy too, so all around its a good move. I start on Monday!

Later, after I agreed to the new arrangement, it occurred to me: HR people are like the benchmark of office behavior. I'm going to have to dress nicely, arrive punctually, and (gasp) probably log less hours chatting online. Shit. I might not be cut out for this role. And how will any of us survive without the constant inundation of Loud Guy’s personal life details?

Stay tuned, lovers. Looks like we'll have a whole new cast of characters to work with next week!