The Year of Yes

So, um, when did it get to be the end of January? Have I been on autopilot for the past few weeks? (Answer: yes.) Well, enough of that – it’s time to get my life back in gear after this messy little hiatus. I woke up on time this morning! My hair is blown dry nicely and I’m wearing clean, work-appropriate clothes! I was on time for work today! It’s a start, anyway.

My new Life Plan is pretty simple: I’m going to say “yes.” I will agree to all invitations I receive – within reason, that is. I won’t double-book my plans, and I won’t say yes to something I know I hate, but the goal here is to spend more time with friends and try new things. It’s the Year of Yes…we’re just going to ignore these last few weeks and pretend that 2008 starts right now.

Now, as part of my Year of Yes, I have a confession to make. I kind of sort of joined a dating website geared toward athletic singles. I know, I know, I’m totally ashamed of myself, but I got sucked in! I posted the free profile just for fun, but then I got TWENTY-FOUR messages on the first day and of course they make you join to read your messages and the curiosity was KILLING me. First of all, the women on this site scare the shit out of me. I’m pretty sure I can’t bench-press the minimum required weight to even have a profile. I expected athletic, runner-types like myself – nuh uh. It’s mostly body-building ladies with long over-processed hair wearing leotards and photographed flexing their ass muscles. Knowing what my competition is like, I’m not quite as surprised by all the attention I got immediately. You know that scene in Eurotrip where Michelle Trachtenberg starts to undress on the nude beach and then they get chased by a swarm of naked icky men because she’s the only chick around? Yeah, it’s kind of like that. Now, most of the guys on the site are in their early thirties, and they seem to agree about What Girls Want: photographs of their chest and abs. Okay, dudebro, I’m very impressed by your oiled torso, but at least put up a headshot so I can see what you’d look like IN PUBLIC. Unless you always prance around shirtless, in which case…well I just don’t see a future for us.

So last night when I got home, NewNew Roommate M and I went through my inbox of potential suitors and weeded out the duds. Oh, there were duds. But there were a couple cute guys who actually sent me coherent messages, so hey, we’ll see. The site also has its own instant messaging, which is especially terrifying because really, I don’t know what to say to these guys. No, Mister Obsessive Skier Dude who is FIFTY, I don’t want to chat with you, even if you’re offering me free lift tickets because you’re on ski patrol. The Year of Yes has its limitations. Best case scenario, I’ll make some new workout friends. Worst case scenario, I’ll meet a dude who falls madly in love…with his own pecs.