First Impressions: The Profile

I’ve always considered myself a pretty savvy dater. I understand when to hold back and when to give in, I like to do fun and exciting activities beyond your standard Dinner and a Movie, I’m flirtatious without giving the milk away for free…but this internet dating is a beast of a different nature. There are rules to play by and subtleties to pick up on and it’s nothing like meeting someone in a bar.

It starts with the profile, naturally. One of the negatives of the site is that all answers must be chosen from a drop-down menu. So if you, for example, don’t want to reveal your income, you are forced to choose the response “Rather Not Say.” I think this is dumb, and the site designers should take a page out of Facebook so when you leave a field blank it disappears. I’m sure the income feature is very helpful for all the gold-digging buff chicks out there, though, and some of these old guys are practically begging for it! I had a 52-year-old guy from Virginia invite me on a trip to Australia last night. But he cut our conversation short to put his kids to bed. Um, PASS! But anyway, my profile is short and sweet. I generally opted out of all personal information with that “Rather Not Say.” Sure, I'll tell you my height, weight and zodiac sign, but I'm not listing my education level, occupation, or religious inclination. In the “About Me” paragraph, this is what I wrote:

Hi there! My name is Jackie, and you can typically find me running or cycling around Central Park. I like to stay healthy and have a great time.

Then there’s the kicker, my Just Try to Resist Me closing line:

Oh, and I will kick your butt at darts.

It gets 'em every time! I’ve received dozens of messages, all variations on the same template. “Hey, cute smile, great body, blah blah blah…I bet I can take you on in a game of darts!” Are you taking notes, ladies? Men are easy, and they cannot resist a challenge, especially one that falls under Bar Territory. I'd mentioned my incredible Buck Hunter skills, but I'm afraid then they'd never leave me alone!

The only thing really preventing me from being the best damn internet dater this fitness site has ever seen is just that, well, I don’t really wanna. I’m having a fun time trying this out, and the attention is a terrific little ego boost, but meeting someone on a dating site feels wholly modern and technological and I don’t know if I’m ready to surrender my conventional notion of boy-meets-girl romance. Besides, I’m far from being over the whole R breakup, and seeing him twice a week at running class doesn’t exactly help my feelings. Since when do you run the show, Emotions? This heartbreak thing is still a foreign concept for my cold, cold heart, so cut me some slack here, okay?

In the next installment of JackieOh's Adventures in Internet Dating, we’ll tackle The Provacative Profile Picture! And then, Contacting People Without Seeming Creepy!