I'm Changing My Work Email Address to PhatGrrrrlOh

I had an interesting weekend. Not “bad interesting” just…interesting.

M, of post-running class drinking fame, was in town for the weekend and of course, crashing on my futon. Many a house guest has stayed on that futon (it’s remarkably comfortable), but M was no ordinary visitor, partially because she lived here in New York for a little while so she didn’t need to be babysat or constantly entertained like other guests. Also, she spent the majority of the weekend traipsing around with an entourage of middle-aged German men who were in town for Oktoberfest. I met about nine of them last night at a billiards bar, each bigger than the next and all named Jan or Fritz. They were not so good at pool, caught on to shufflepuck pretty quickly, and were remarkably adept at foosball. Despite the bizarre crowd, it was a fun night and around 10:30PM R and I headed home while M and Coach G kept the party rolling with Die Deutschen.

This morning I met Cycling friend A and two of her friends for a quick ride in Central Park before work. (Sidebar: Hooray! Riding with girls!) M still hadn’t come back to the apartment. Sure enough, as I rolled up to my apartment at 6:45AM, there was M and Coach G on the front stoop, eyes bloodshot and reeking of beer. They followed me upstairs where Coach G proceeded to crawl into my bed and spoon a still-sleeping R while M curled up at their feet. (R relocated to the sofa when he realized that Coach G was not, in fact, me.) Oh, and M missed her 7AM flight this morning because they really needed those two extra hours of drinking. That about sums up the entire weekend: a fun time that I hope to never repeat.

Autumn always seems to catch me off guard, even though I know the season will inevitably breeze through every September. Still, it seems like the weather changes on a dime, that last week I wore sandals and a sundress and today its pumps and suit pants and I'm never quite ready for the cold weather. While I love New York City in the fall, I know the weather is only going to get colder and I'm not sure how many winters I have left in me here. I wonder if the University of Hawaii has a decent MFA program?

The majority of the work I’m doing right now for JDate involves scheduling interviews with candidates. Exciting stuff, I know. Anyway, JDate asked me to email a guy about coming back in for a second interview. His email address: phatguy1@somethingorother.com. Really, we’re considering a candidate who continues to use the email address he created at age fourteen? He's not even the original phatguy@somethingorother.com - he had to use a number! And can you imagine the shame of being phatguy2 or 3? Listen, Dude Bro, you’re applying for a big boy job now so it’s time to get a new address that perhaps uses some configuration of your name and an ounce of common sense. Christ. I can’t wait to meet this guy in person. JDate assures me that his email address is made even more comical by the fact that was entirely devoid of a sense of humor during their first meeting. It’s always the quiet ones who turn out to be porn stars, you know.