As if I needed further proof as to why salads are the Worst Lunch Decision Ever:
Me: [pawing through delivery bag] Oh man!
C: What, did they forget your salad dressing?
Me: No, they forgot my oatmeal raisin cookies…AND my salad dressing!
The fact that I noticed the cookies were missing first speaks volumes about my culinary priorities. Then Loud Guy had to go to a lunch meeting, so he offered me and C his sandwich and redeemed himself from yesterday’s volume infractions (for now!). We split that, and Pain in the Analyst gave me two of his chocolate chip cookies, thus erasing any memory of my terrible, naked salad. It was a good food day.
By all available evidence, I should be a Fat Girl.
After dinner with a friend last night, he pointed to my half-eaten cheeseburger and asked if I was on a diet. Nevermind that I paired my burger with a side of onion rings and washed it down with a black and white milkshake. Was I feeling okay? He was only half-kidding. Food, you see, is my one true love. I used to be jealous of those somnambular eaters featured in teen magazine exposés (“Shocking! Rare Eating Disorders!”). You wake up and find you at a whole chocolate cake last night? Awesome! I mean, I’m sure some people truly struggle with this issue, but the solution never struck me as terribly complicated: Don’t keep whole cakes in your refrigerator. Of course if I actually had this disorder, I’d wake up to find that I had eaten old Easter candy, chugged two stale Heinekens, perhaps mixed a curious concoction out of condiments and drank a few gallons of Gatorade. Kind of gross, and way less fun than chocolate cake.
Okay, this entry quickly deteriorated into that scene from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days where they list all the ways Kate Hudson’s character can drive the dude crazy: “Oooh, call him in the middle of the night and tell him everything you had to eat that day!” Not that I would ever really do that because a.) it would take too long, b.) I’d probably forget half anyway unless I wrote it down, and c.) it would just make me hungry again.
I’m going to see if Pain In The Analyst has any more snacks now.
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4 comments:
where did you get your hamburger? I've decided to go on a hamburger tour of NYC. I would like your input about this most recent hamburger experience. The only acceptable drink pairing for a burger is a black and white milk shake, so good work on that front.
love you,
aaron
Hi Aaron, my name is JackieOh and I'll be your New York City Burger tour guide.
(If you EVER hang out with me, I'll tell you!)
did you guys hear that in-n-out burger is coming to nyc? yes, i kid not! personally, i think paul's palace has the best burger ever. but then again, i love all burgers...even the cold, grey, nasty ones at the staten island yankees games that we get with our "all you can eat" season ticket combo. food is definitely my #1 love and vice.
Laura, I think you're my #2 true love because you worked burgers AND baseball into that post.
(I did hear. Want to camp out for the opening??)
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